My oldest daughter used to be painfully shy. She would get hurt on the playground and not cry until she was in my lap, with her face against me. At least I thought it was "used to be" until today! We had to go to the doctor for her well check visit. The doctor came in and started asking her questions. She did not answer her. She would not look at her. I am always embarrassed, and told my daugther that it was rude not to answer someone back. She quietly answered the questions, but would still not look at her. I was so frustrated! The doctor pointed out some bruises on her legs that were not in a typical bruise location. She fell and got hit by our screen door on her legs while she was sitting in the door frame. I connected her bruise questions with my daughters painful shyness. We did not even make it out of the doctors office before I had a tear filled conversation with my daughter. Why are you acting this way? Why are you scared of people? Why are you so stinking shy? What is wrong with you?!
God gave me a holy spanking all the way home. As I looked at my daughter in the rear view mirror he whispered to my heart. She is mine, not yours! I created her, not you! Her personality is for my purposes, not yours! As I struggle to understand her personality, I realize me wanting her to be someone else than who God made her is just my selfishness. I can remember a time when my husband had to mentally make himself go talk to people in a public situation. Not because he hates people, but because he is so shy. I don't want my daughter to feel that pain in her stomach and have to mentally fight a battle to go say hi to someone. I just want her life to be easier than her father and mother's.
As I make my list of all the positive things that being shy holds, I also make my list of all the things I can't control. God blessed me with this sweet child to help me remember he is in control. He will take care of my children. His ways are not my ways and his plans are not my plans.
